Flopsy Mopsy
Last year there was a proliferation of gigantic, mophead hydrangea macrophylla on sale at the garden centre, but at prices of £25+ they seemed a bit of an indulgence.
Especially when you already have eight in the garden and your under-weeder regards them with the same affection that she reserves for yellow-flowering plants.
But this one was £9.99 and it was gorgeous. And before I knew it, it was walking out of Squires with me.
This particular one ‘Strong Pink’ looked very similar to the 2014 Plant of the Show at Chelsea – Hydrangea macrophylla ‘Miss Saori’ and was another product of the Hillier breeding programme.
But when I got it home, I realised it was a bit of a show pony. The only reason the blooms were so beautifully presented is that they were bound round with green tape. Should the tape have been removed, then the pendulous flower heads would have flopped all over the place.
I understand the logic of staking weak-stemmed perennials in the border. Some of my favourite plants are Michaelmas daisies that will lie down quicker than a teenager asked to do the washing up. But this is a shrub and surely should have a bit more substance, a bit more steel in its xylem.
Keen to test out the plant’s resolve at keeping its blooms upright I removed the tape on one side and “snap” the sheer weight of the flower head brought it crashing down in a perfect self-pruning gesture. I stopped taking the tape off.
To add further insult to injury the hot spell we’ve just had exhausted the plant thoroughly and despite being given a bigger pot, drenched in water and placed in the shade, the leaves still dehydrated. It sat in the shade panting like a Labrador. In fact it gave the impression of a plant that had been raised in high humidity and the single factor of placing it outdoors put it under enormous stress.**
The blurb on the plant tag read ‘robust and long-flowering’. Hah! Presumably that should come with the caveat ‘providing you leave it in a humidity-controlled greenhouse and attend them regularly, as though they were the plant equivalent of Signora Madeline Neroni* in the Barchester novels.
Perhaps that’s why they’re being knocked out at £9.99.
FH
*A beautiful, feckless, exotic woman who took to her chaise longue to be attended on.
** Two weeks after buying it I went back to Squires and they had all their hydrangeas parked in the shade and under cover, the way many garden centres treat azaleas and acers.
